Embracing Vulnerability with Kyra Horton
Photography by Evelyn Menchaca
A multidisciplinary artist, Kyra Horton is constantly creating and authentically at that. The Chicago-raised artist began pursuing poetry in 2016 and since then, has seen her craft evolve and take different lifeforms. From physical books to albums, each project is a new extension of what Kyra can do and the shapes her art can take. Fate, in both herself and the universe, brings Kyra reassurance that everything she sets her mind to and puts her authenticity behind works out. We can all learn something from Kyra’s trust in herself, or at least feel inspired to nurture that trust within ourselves. Influenced by her home city of Chicago and life experiences, Kyra paints vivid stories that hold mirrors up to who we are and evokes personal exploration. In her own introspectiveness, Horton encourages and celebrates vulnerability.
Hours away from her debut album release, I sat down with Kyra to trace the evolution of her artistry, how The Silencer fits into it, and the bravery of being an artist.
Can you give us a little bit of background on who Kyra Horton is?
Sure, my name is Kyra Horton and I consider myself a multidisciplinary artist. My main medium is spoken word poetry. I also do written poetry and I just got into doing my poetry over my music. So I considered that melodic poetry. I also do paintings so I paint on clothing primarily, like customizing clothing, also canvas art. I’ve dabbled in photography, I’ve dabbled in film, instruments so I’m really down to any creative hobby but those are my main mediums.
You started writing poetry in 2016, how did that begin?
So, I started in high school like Louder Than A Bomb competitions in Chicago and I was on the team at my school. I was a freshman and everyone on the team was way older than me. I was taken on as an alternate so I was just basically there so I could watch what's going on because I was still so young and I really hadn't started writing poetry at all yet. I was traveling with them, I did some competitions and I was able to experience the environment, and that's what really got me into writing and loving writing, performing, and competing. And it's crazy because like during my freshman year at high school, I knew that I wanted to write a book, like I had the title of the book, the title that I have now, I chose it in 2016. I just didn't have the resources or the amount of poetry. It was just one of those things that was always in the back of my head but I had to wait till the right time.
Fast forward 4-5 years later and you published your first novel, Cries of a Butterfly. Can you talk a bit about the experience and how it would eventually shape your first EP and now this album?
Yeah. So I think the process is not at all what I expected. I had not thought about my book in years and it was kind of just one of those things because I started in 2016, and then I tried to revisit it in maybe like 2017/2018 and I still felt like I wasn’t ready but it's actually a funny story. I was watching this sermon, this church sermon, and it was called beta blessings. And it was talking about how God’ll plant an idea or a seed at a time but that's not like the time it's meant for and then it comes at a later point. And for some reason, I thought of my book instantly after hearing this sermon. And so I was like, ‘Wow, I haven't thought about that in a while.’ When I tried to pursue it at first, I was living in Arizona. And at the time when I watched this sermon and ended up publishing this book, I was back in Chicago, and I always feel like I have more resources, more connections, more support in Chicago. So when I think about the book again, I feel like I had everything I needed to publish and so I did the self-publishing route. I had explored other options, but I felt like I wanted to control every creative aspect. I didn’t wanna go through someone else to say like this isn’t the typical way the line structure is or like, this isn’t grammatically correct. And things like that. So I did it completely myself. I edited, I illustrated all the images and I published it on KDP through Amazon because that was like the best, the most successful self publisher. I think that it’s a cool platform cuz I'm able to get the books sent to me, just order them from them at print price and I could sell them myself, and so that's been really cool. And I think that my book was very isolated to specific points in my life where I wanted to write poetry. I feel like typically I want to perform poetry, but in those moments I wanted to literally write poetry for people to read instead of hear. But I think that I kind of got that out of my system and got back to wanting to perform and that's how my EP came about, because it's like I can never perform as much as I want like there’s just not enough events. I thought about the idea of kind of like performing and putting it in a way that people can consume it without being in front of me. That's how my EP came out and my EP was pretty impulsive. I was just like, I have a bunch of poetry. I wanted to record it, I mean, I finished that EP start to finish in maybe like four days and it was like very much one thing after another. I spent three days nonstop with my producer and took the cover art in those days, uploaded them, it was just a crazy process. With my album, I wanted it to be something that was way more intentional and something that I spend more time thinking about each detail, concepts, things like that. I think that the EP was like me dipping my toes in the water and just trying it out, trying something new. Then, the album feels like a more developed version of what I was trying to do then.
Can you speak to the name of your album, The Silencer, and some of the themes that shape the album?
The name of the album is very significant to the concept. The name of the album is The Silencer and the reason I chose that title is because I feel like all throughout my life, and it's not just particular to me but people who identify with the same intersectional identities that I do have also experienced these things, but it's like our voices are not heard, they’re not considered, they’re pushed to the side. We also just don't have the resources to put our voices into the world as much as other people do. When we do, it’s often not taken seriously and so that's one half of it. But the other half of it is like a silencing that I've done to myself because of a fear of vulnerability. I think that this album is just a representation of all of the times that I've been silenced, but still like the aim is achieved, you know like even if you have your silencer on, you still hit your target. And so I think that, like this album really just represents me overcoming struggle in a lot of different aspects; as a Black woman, but also just as a human being and dealing with my own internal struggle to express how I feel and overcoming those things to create something beautiful to make art out of struggle, to make art out of pain, and also to just celebrate joy and the things that come in between.
The feelings and emotions that you explore throughout this album are not small by any means. What are your feelings on being so vulnerable with people and sharing stuff that's so deep with the public, especially knowing that once it's out there, we can't really control how it's perceived?
I think that my vulnerability has been inspired a lot by other artists and understanding that if they didn't get their vulnerability to me and to the world, I wouldn't be the artist I am, the person I am and I wouldn't be as vulnerable as I’ve been. I think it took a lot because I'm an extremely private person, especially with my emotions and I know that I've studied other artists, especially in the process of making my book and making my album, and seeing how powerful their vulnerability is and how much it can do for other people and how much it can do for them, just releasing the things that they've experienced in a way that is beautiful. And I think that I just sit with that rather than sitting with fear. I feel like I don't really think about how people will perceive me very often anymore. It's kind of like, I do what I can to create art that feels good to me and then hope that someone can relate to it or feel it in the way that I did. But when it comes to thinking about, I don't know, negative ways that it could impact me or like ways that it could truly hurt me, I think that those are just things that I don't consider often because they're just rooted in fear. I try to not encourage that emotion too much.
I know you picked each instrument sound and word in this album, which is similar to how you did literally everything for your first book. Can you talk about just the process of why it's important for you to have a hand in every aspect?
Yeah, I think oftentimes when I have an idea or a vision for something, it's extremely vivid. And I think that when I try to incorporate other people in specific aspects of it, I end up not being satisfied in the way that I would be if I were to do it myself. That can be a good thing, but that can also be a bad thing because I am a huge proponent of collaboration and trying to create things with people but I think that when it comes to visions that I have or ideas that I have, a lot of times like each piece is crafted in a very specific way in my mind and in order to enact it, rather than micromanaging someone to exactly how I want it, I'd rather just do it myself and create the work in the vision that I already have and it always comes together. I don't think I ever really worry too much about the finished project. I just like to work on what I'm working on in that moment, whether it's the instrumental or whether it's the cover art. I don’t really do that much of big picture thinking I just focus on what I'm focused on and know that it’s going to fit in the end result and fit well. I guess that’s just the fate, but it always works out.
Are there any poems or songs that you find yourself like constantly going back to throughout your creative process or just like personally?
Yeah, there is a poet called Malanda Jean Claude and I find myself, when I'm creating, checking his work often. It's not really the content of what he's writing about, it's the way that he writes and the way that he produces. He has a book out called Because of a Woman and I own that book, it's like annotated to death. I just think that when I'm feeling like I want to be inspired, I always reference back to his writing, his Twitter feed, his Instagram feed because there's something so unique about what he does and it's extremely inspiring. There's just specific aspects that I draw from with him, which is more so structure and design and then there are artists where there's music or poetry that I learn from their vulnerability, and I feel like that's more of what drives the art for me. There's artists like Reyna Biddy that I go to, she's another poet, and I’ll listen to her work and she literally just lays her heart out and I'm like, if she was able to be that vulnerable and it was able to affect me and inspire me this strongly, I want to be able to do that too and that's what kinda keeps the work going sometimes when it’s harder.
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Lyric Breakdown:
“The pressure of a million suns waiting for you to become who you said you'd be, who they are expecting out of you, some days I'm not sure I can be her.”
With any gift comes weight and pressure. When people see a light inside you they automatically attach certain expectations. Sometimes those expectations can be fueling and comforting, the days that I can see my own potential clearly. Other times the weight of that pressure can crush me. I'm not always sure of myself, I'm human, but even in those times people are still expecting me to reach my full potential. That can be very heavy.
“Don't be afraid to leave paranoia on the canvas, despair on the mic, don't box your complexities into something more presentable.”
This line pushes creatives to examine who they are when they're alone. When no one is listening or watching, then bring that into the public. We too often feel the need to package our emotions in a way that we think people will perceive it best, but the art can lose its authenticity that way. This line is more so a reminder for me than anything. I'm telling myself to be 100% genuine to who I am even when it's ugly, bitter, or heavy. I have the right to share all parts of myself, we all do.
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