"Boundaries" – Jamila Woods • '22 Staff Picks
How would you define personal boundaries in a relationship? In her sole 2022 single, Jamila Woods identifies her own healthy parameters when entering new relationships, such as not losing yourself or recognizing when you might be entering a flight-or fight mode rooted in fear. It was a message I heavily connected with and the track was instantly put on repeat. In the past, when a new love formed, I wanted to know the person deeply, and this manifested in losing myself based on never knowing my boundaries. Jamila’s “Boundaries” is a gentle reminder of the benefits of exploring and establishing what they are.
A solo Spanish guitar begins the track, surprising fans by incorporating a Latin touch into her classic R&B and soul sound. As the song slowly transitions through her poetic lyricism, I couldn't help but feel various sensations —vibrant, sensual, reflective, hopeful, and dreamy, to name a few.
The song, her first since 2020, surveys the importance of building boundaries within a new relationship and exploring whether they stem from fear or love. The lyric "It's safer on the outside" resonates with a truth of mine: I hesitate to let people in romantically because it entails becoming vulnerable with another person.
Listening to a track like this has allowed me to see myself and my faults as I figure out what actions come from trepidation versus love. How can we keep someone at a distance, but close enough to not feel scared? In order to obtain a healthy balance, as the song outlines, it all goes back to defining boundaries and communicating with a partner. Spending time with myself allows me to show up better when it's time to be with my partner. Time alone and together are equally precious.
Five lines into the first verse, Jamila sings, "I'm finding peace when I'm alone.". The topic of being alone has become a widespread discussion nowadays, and, more than ever, people are doing things alone that they might have only done if another person came along. Someone okay with being alone, and doing things alone is one of the best traits to see because it shows you that person will always stay true to themselves. Along with what will be brought into the relationship. Therefore, the lyrics spoke to me as if I had finally been seen. Isn't that what we all want desperately, but are too scared to let someone in? Ah, the irony.
If 2022 has taught me anything, it is that I must find peace within my solitude, and Jamila's single was a message I felt I was meant to hear. Solitude is something that will always be much easier said than done to most. In addition, new relationships are enticing and exhilarating; sometimes, setting boundaries becomes complicated. A song like this is refreshing to keep in the back of your head when a new relationship forms.
This song is for those slow mornings or late nights by yourself or your partner; when you want to wind down a little bit and allow your emotions to be felt with Woods' melancholic vocals. Woods' listeners may automatically connect to her lyrics because the emotions she evokes are felt by many, but few put them into words so eloquently.
If learning the importance of time together and away from your partner can make it easier to connect with and vibe to before 2022 ends, “Boundaries” might just make you feel seen too.