Shawnee Dez’ Journey Through the Moody Umbra
Photo by Patricia Aquino
Shawnee Dez opens the door to her intimate spiritual and personal journey on her new album, Moody Umbra. Made over the course of three years with 11 collaborators from all across the city, Moody Umbra is a soul-churning, celebratory, and introspective journey. Through this body of work, the Chicago singer declares that she is more than her emotive, haunting voice. She represents community care, collaboration, and vulnerability through her music and personal spirit.
Weaving in organic instrumentation and rich, inventive production, Dez explores heavy themes such as confronting your shadow, loss, and self renewal. She does this through raw lyrics, creating this sense of stepping into a wound with her – and finding your way out together. The tracks are packed with intentionally stacked harmonies that rub your heart just the right way, a quality of Shawnee’s music from the start of her career.
Tracks like “Purify” and “Dismantle” are examples of how spiritually rich the album is in different ways. Repetitive lyricism and themes of cleansing create a meditative state in “Purify,” while “Dismantle” picks the pace up and combines her bouncy flow and emboldening lyrics over synthesizer-driven production, creating an atmosphere of depth and dimension.
Eleven tracks later, and you feel like you’ve released a lot. Including feelings of starting anew, making peace with the past, and what it feels like to shake that all off in a room full of friends, similar to Shawnee’s creative environment when making the music.
With the album release checked off her list, Shawnee is moving into the next phase: cultivating its legacy amongst old and new listeners. We caught up with her to see what’s changed since we featured her as a Chicago Artist to Watch in 2021, how releasing the album feels, and how she plans to carve its legacy. Witness it in person at her Lincoln Hall show on May 18th, and read our conversation below.
We last spoke two years ago, so this may be a tricky question, but how have you been since? What’s changed?
Oh, my God. So much has changed. I still live in Chicago, of course. First of all, I've had my Saturn return. I know this is like us getting back into the cosmos stuff… but it's so weird because it feels less like I'm just being sort of pulled around and strung along like a little puppy thingy. It just feels like I’m also in control of my life, which I guess you could have some crises about being completely in control. I feel more capable and confident since 2021, as a person and as an artist. And I think this is also the first year that we're starting the year from the top and hopefully to the bottom being like pseudo out of the pandemic, which, like, it's still around and is still affecting people every day, but this is like our first year where everybody's outside all year round. That's a big difference. Like the last time we talked, we were just in our first full year of understanding how music was going to work, how collaboration was going to work via all these different nuances, like really confusing and anxious things. And now I just feel a lot less anxious.
Absolutely. It’s wild to think it was that long ago. We've had to do a lot of pivoting since then, especially creatively. How have you found your creativity either remain intact throughout the pandemic, or how have you seen it change?
Yeah. It's so weird, I'm in a whole another phase of change that is about to start right now, but in terms of creativity, I was in a place of isolation. So, it was a little bit harder and easier to create because it was like that was just the thing to do when you're just in the house and you don't have a full-time job, and you're not like doing regular everyday life stuff, you just do the things you want to do. Right now, I'm in the place where I'm figuring out the balance again, but I'm also less in the music creation phase. I'm more in the experiential curation phase of how do I want people to receive the music I made, which is more challenging because you can't confirm or determine how someone is going to experience you. But it's really exciting to think about building a world or an experience for people to take in and ingest your music. So, just like we did out of music, like the album creation phase and being back into the show production phase, how do I want the lighting? How do I want the band to be set up? What's going to be the setlist like? It's like you have at least one thing on the list checked off, which is the music. They have to figure everything else out. So that's a big shift like I'm now more in the action phase. I keep thinking about this. I keep thinking about light lines and fire and all that stuff, but it's like, yeah, I'm just in the action phase. Like I'm less in the intuitive water, thinking about everything and trying to create in that sense, but instead, it's like I'm creating with tangible tools right now, which is exciting.
That is super exciting. And I can imagine working on something for so long and then putting it out and figuring out where you go after that is a crazy feeling. Even if it wasn't three years, but especially because it was, can you speak to what it feels like to write and produce a project like this and release it?
Oh my God. The first question was, like, fucking anxieties through the roof. I feel like I'm probably just dramatic as a person because I'm a Cancer, so I know I'm just a little dramatic, and that's fine. But I was crying a lot. Like, it was really hard for me to sleep… it was hard for me to go through my day and get done with other tasks because I knew that I had this like thing that I wanted to fucking be done with and just let go so that I can get on with my life. That's how even though it was like every day was like, "Oh my God, when am I going to fucking be done with this?” It was like, I think the beginning stage was really beautiful because the beginning started before the pandemic. Once the pandemic started, it was no clear end time. The time during the pandemic felt like fucking seven years, and we weren't sure where the exits in the room were. You just were kind of in the middle of this smoky fucking room for a long time.
[Laughs] I’m triggered thinking about it.
That's exactly what the fuck it was! It was like, Where do we get out of this shit? And so it felt like everything you were trying to accomplish during those three years felt almost impossible because you didn't really know what everyday life would look like. So how could you plan for a specific part of it? You know? On the other side of that, aside from feeling really anxious and just really wanting to share also, what comes into play, too, when you hold on to something for so long, you want to keep making revisions like there's still probably like ten revisions that would do to over today. [laughs] But there came a point of really tapping into discernment and being like, ‘this is done. This is not bringing me joy anymore. It is not for me anymore.’ And it's not to say that it being out hasn't brought me joy, that’s brought a lot of joy, but in the phase that I was becoming nitpicky and not being creative-- It was like, this is done. It's okay. Let it go. You're going to make another album someday. And everything that you've learned from this, you're going to apply there. And you still have time to do that.
I feel like in the past six months or so is when you kind of come back with a more steady output. Was there anything specifically that sparked that inspiration to get back?
Timing is everything and then creating the right team around you. I have to salute Trippy World [Amir’s videographer], he's been a big asset for me because he's someone that just understands the vision. And I also have to shout out Zay Rock, my producer, who's been rocking with me forever, and Frankie Vergara. It's just creating that team around you so you aren't sacrificing your vision for anything, you know? People that completely get your vision. And that's kind of made it easier to come out when you have a team. I was also of the mindset like, "I do everything in myself and shit." Once I kind of got out of that and just created a team, the stars aligned and everything kind of came into focus.
And what’s been your favorite part of the release?
What it felt like since it came out now has been… I always just keep saying that it just feels like a big sigh. It feels like a big deep breath. I feel like myself again. I'm going outside and living your life-type energy right now. I'm not like, go into the house and work. It's been beautiful, and I think the community that's been around me during this release time is also really beautiful just to see how they're experiencing this and their support. And that's what I've been wanting. I’ve just been wanting to go outside and share it and enjoy it with people and not just have it to myself.
When I listen to it all the way through, it feels like one long experience. It's so cohesive. How do you balance collaboration, especially with that many people, while maintaining your vision or intertwining the two?
I think what's really cool about when you listen to music and then when you go and make music, like, you can kind of hear when an artist is working with multiple producers on an album, and that cohesion gets a little chopped up or they're working with the same producer or producers on an album, and every single song sounds exactly the same. So it's like a really hard line. I learned this in this process, and I think I am still figuring it out. And I'm excited again for the next project to see how much more I can balance that line. But the balance between overly cohesive to the point where nothing is recognizable because they all just have the exact same sound… and then also, like every single song being completely different from the last or the entire project, that's like a really hard balance, but I feel like I've cracked the code in just a little bit of a way. The code for me is that I co-produced everything, and so I was in every single room when every single thing was being created. So my energy and what my vision was, were beautifully and authentically integrated into every song. I would say ‘Awakening,’ the first song, and ‘Purify’ are the only songs that were made with everybody when we first went to Colorado in 2020. Those are the two songs. I think we may have made like six different songs, but only two of those songs came from that session, and that was like the intro to everything else. After these six guys were all on those two songs, I was like, ‘Okay, cool, I'm going to go work in the silo with Eddie [Burns], and then we'll reach back out to everybody to come on it after we've already laid down the skeleton. It was crazy. And then there's ‘Nighty,’ which is from fucking early 2018. And then there's ‘Never See, 'which was written on my Autotune Bass in 2016. Then there were certain things where I'm like, okay, now I'm going to pull all these other little things in, but I feel like I have at least enough cohesion to where even if we offset it energetically, it'll still feel like it's in the same world. Yeah, or like how ‘Moody’ is a sample of ‘Nighty,’ and so that automatically just makes those two songs related to each other. I feel like there are tricks to do it. I can't sit up here and say that I'm a fucking, you know, I’ve won 50 million Grammys yet, but I feel like that's a little bit of the code is just like being in every room making sure your vision is, it doesn't have to be clear, but you're in a room that you're comfortable enough to walk in that circle with everybody in the room… [being able to say] ‘okay, can I do a brain dump really quick and just talk my way through this and still feel safe and feel comfortable and not feel judged?’
Shawnee with friends and family at the Moody Umbra listening party. Photo by Jacob King.
Since we're on the topic of community, I remember when we spoke in 2021, you were either on the heels of or planning your next bike ride, and you've done a lot of experimental live performances. Could you talk more about the role of Community in Moody Umbra?
Musically, I feel like you can kind of feel when there are instrumentalists on a song versus someone just going into their stock sounds and putting stuff places. And I feel like the music I'm inspired by is band music. I wanted to be in a fucking band for so long. I think that is my next goal. I have some heavy hitters who I've been making music with, and I'm like, Yo, can we just be a band that performs once a year? Like, let's just perform once a year. [laughs] And so I think that directly relates to my approach to music as a whole. I think of music as, like… we all remember being younger and having our iPods or our CD players and having that time to just self-soothe and isolate. But I think a lot of times we’re introduced to our favorite music by someone else, whether it be a parent or a sibling or friend or, you know, a music teacher, anyone. There is always another person involved in our musical experiences, especially those first times. And I feel like there is magic that is made when there are more brains and ideas in a room, and I feel like a lot of my music will thrive more because of how many beautiful people I have around it and in it and involved in it. Even if I'm playing a show, I feel like a lot of times you'll hear gigging musicians, like musicians who play for a lot of different people, you’ll hear that sometimes they absolutely hate the people they're playing for… they don't hate them, but they hate their music because they don't have any buy-in, there is nothing personal about it.
From music production all the way to the shows and the people in the audience, there is no way for me to ever be so in my ego and think that my music is going to make people feel the way that I want them to feel. I want them to feel good and empowered and confident and excited or creative. And all those things come with and through communities like you can't feel those things in hyper isolation. You can’t feel excited, creative, or confident if you don't have any references to engage with people. So for me, community means everything. This album wouldn't be what it is if I just sat and tried to go play on a beat machine, it would be terrible. You guys wouldn't want to hear that. I just think that music inherently is such a communal element. It's just such a communal thing like we have to rally together. When you think about cookouts, and you think about parties, or you think about anywhere there's a group of people, even a sports game, there's always going to be music there. I like to think about that from the inception itself; from the moment we start thinking about making music, it's like, how many people can I get in this room to experience this with?
In terms of Bike Ride stuff, still definitely doing that. I actually have a Bike Ride coming up on the 20th, right after the show. I’m gonna be fucking throwing up. I’m gonna be crying! [laughs] I’ve already taken off work.
Photo by Jacob King
I feel like there's something almost spiritual about the project, maybe from the rawness of your voice and the surrender of emotion. And then even, I think of ‘Purify’ and the repetition. Is that part of your music?
Hell yeah. Heavens, yeah, if you will. Absolutely, so spot on. You're not off at all. ‘Purify’ specifically, especially the ending where there's this repetition is deeply, deeply [spiritual]. When I think about it, I think about being baptized. Like I think about being baptized with a community of people around you, praying for you with their hands over you, and that's what it is like. That's why it's ‘Purify, 'it's like just purify me like I was drowning. I was confused, but now I'm like, oh, I'm surrendering to the water. I'm surrendering to feeling these emotions, the spirit, and also surrendering to both the good and bad parts of myself that make me whole. Not being afraid of things that are deemed, you know, deviant or negative or scandalous. It's just like they're my thoughts, they're my feelings, these are my desires, and they all make me who I am. And 100%, I think the entire record, actually, and with the exception, I feel like some songs may not come across that way. Still, the whole concept of Moody Umbra and being like this moody energy that can be like both light and dark, they can be both beautiful and also sometimes not attractive, is like the premise. Sometimes, there is no perception of good or bad. There just is. And I think it's a very human condition to sort of put our own morals and ethics on to protect those things onto other people. And I don't want to. The work is 100% spiritual, just from the essence of shadow work. And so, what does it look like to really ask yourself what your habits are? Why are your habits the way they are? Why do you attract the things you attract? What are the things you long for and desire? How do you show up when you are angry or upset or excited, or aroused? It's kind of all those things which I feel are very spiritual questions because there is no right or wrong. It just simply is. And Umbra being like the center of a shadow, that's the whole thing is about you're totally on your own plane.
Beautifully said. What are you most looking forward to about performing the project or the upcoming Lincoln Hall show?
What I’m most excited about for the 18th is the jam session that’s gonna be at the end of the show. After we’re done doing this super beautifully organized setlist, we’re gonna just invite some of my secret friends in the back and just be like, ‘Hey, come out, it’s time.’ And everyone will just convene and have a good time. That’s what I’m most excited about. So with Trinity Star Ultra, I play with two of their band members, Kurt Shelby and Elijah Harris. They are playing in my band, but they're also playing first, and then I think Qari's playing with some Chicago heavy hitters. I don't want to spoil it… but he's definitely playing with some really cool Chicago people! I'm excited about the community aspect of the show. I think what is really special about the way I curate experiences and shows is like I'm always like, again, how do I get as many people to feel seen in this moment when you're in a crowd, and the lyrics are just seeing you or I'm seeing you and making eye contact. Or if you love one of my band members because of their solo work, or just any way I can make a connection, I'm really enthusiastic about doing it. And I think having that jam session at the end of all of like amazingly talented Chicago artists who I don't even know who I'm going to bring out yet, but I've got to bring out some fucking people, and they're going to eat the shit up, and we're just going to fucking jam and have a good time. That's the thing I'm looking forward to the most, and I think that's gonna really set this experience apart from your typical show.
I can’t wait to witness that! Lastly, let's say you were to personify your album, and your album went out for a night in the city. What would your album do? Like, where would it go? Would it spend the night at the beach, etc?
Oh wow. I love that. My album definitely would ride bikes to the Point and set up a hammock with a little bonfire. And because I'm asthmatic and a lightweight, I wouldn't smoke, but they would smoke because they are cool. And they probably have a really cool dog, and all their friends would like dogs. I'm about to actually get a sphynx cat, so they would also have their sphinx there.
They would probably drink because they don't smoke for real, and all their friends around them do, so they would probably be drinking some sort of THC/CBD-infused drink and/or doing shrooms and looking at the sky. If they do shrooms, it would be nighttime, and they would have a bonfire to see all the trees bloom. They would be so excited to be by the water all the time. They would pray to the water. They would also scream and just look at nature and be really thankful for the life that they have and their friends and family around them. Then they’d bike home and probably make a really nice meal, maybe some lamb meatballs. And sage my house and sit down to eat the lamb meatballs and watch a YouTube horoscope video.
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